When we start to date someone, one of the first things many of us will look for are the red flags. And that makes total sense, because self-preservation is one of the most important things you can do, so looking for the early signs that someone just isn’t for you is hugely important.

If you’re lucky enough to have found someone without any glaring red flags or skeletons in the closet, then that’s amazing! The thing is, no relationship is as perfect as rom coms or cheesy novels make them out to be. But, plenty of relationships do have that special spark that makes you want to stick around.

If you’ve been with someone for a while, you’ve said the ‘L’ word and you still get butterflies whenever you see them, then you might well be in a position where you start to think that getting engaged might not be such a bad idea.

That’s when it’s time to start looking for those green flags. You should think of the little things about this other person that really slot into your life, to the point where you could see yourself spending forever with them.

If you’re pretty sure your relationship is headed towards one of you getting down on one knee and the other walking down the aisle, but you’re not quite sure, below are 15 green flags that say, loud and clear, you’re on the right track.

Communication and trust green flags

1. You feel safe being 100% yourself with no filters needed

During the early days of dating, there’s a good chance you felt the need to constantly be at the top of your game. This meant looking good, feeling good, smelling good… the whole shebang. There was likely no way you’d let this new person in your life see your not-so-glamorous side.

But now… well, they’ve seen you, warts and all, at your best but also at your worst. You can show up messy, silly, sad or weird and they love you just the same. You don’t feel like you need to be the very best version of yourself to keep them interested. If that’s the case, you don’t just have love, you have a warm and toasty safety blanket, which is a major green flag.

2. You can disagree without it becoming an argument

The reality of every relationship is that you’re not going to agree on everything 100% of the time. And that’s absolutely okay, because those little differences of judgement and opinion are what make you unique.

When the time comes for you to have a disagreement, how you handle it can either be a huge positive or a worrying negative. If you disagree without it turning into a fight, one of you storming off or things turning ugly, that’s a major green flag. That’s because understanding each other is way more important to you than coming out on top or ‘winning’.

You don’t even need to end the disagreement by being on the same side. So long as you understand where each other’s coming from, you’re onto a winner.

**3. They listen – like, they really listen**

After all this time, if your other half listens to what you have to say, then it’s unlikely that will change anytime soon. We’re not talking about passive ‘mmhmms‘ while scrolling on their phone. They actively listen and are excited to hear what you have to say. They ask questions. They remember what matters to you, from the big dreams to the very specific way you like your bacon cooked.

If they’re the sort of person to bring something up you said once in passing, then they don’t just listen to you; they make a point to take it in because it means a lot to you, and therefore to them. This is vital because listening is just as important as talking – communication is, after all, a two-way street. So if they’re a great listener, then that’s another small but mighty green flag to wave.

4. You trust them completely

Your partner’s phone buzzes, they check their texts and smirk to themselves… and you don’t really mind at all. You know it’s probably one of their mates sending a GIF or something. You don’t let your imagination run wild.

Because you trust them, wholly and completely. Trust is something which is earned, and they’ve obviously done more than enough to earn your trust. Chances are, they’ll know what will happen if they lose that trust, too, so will do everything to make sure it’s not broken.

Massive. Green. Flag.

5. You’re honest even when it’s uncomfortable

If you’re happy to bring up even the most difficult of conversations, including finances, exes and future plans, then it shows just how comfortable you are to be open and honest with this other person. You don’t feel the need to keep things to yourself; you’re not concerned about how they’ll react or what they’ll say if you answer in a way they might not like.

If it’s important, it’s always worth talking about. And a huge green flag is your partner recognising that and engaging in the conversation.

Support and shared goals green flags

6. They celebrate your wins like they’re their own

While the two of you are an item, they acknowledge that you’re still very much your own person with your own goals and achievements. When something good happens, they don’t get weird or competitive. They don’t act funny or jealous that you’re getting positive attention and they’re not. They hype you up, pop open the Prosecco and let you know all about how amazing you are.

And they don’t make it about them. They celebrate you. Big you up. They didn’t do it – you did. If your partner is happy for you to have your moment in the sun, and proud of you for it, they’re definitely a keeper.

7. They support your growth even if it’s inconvenient

Change can be scary and the fear of the unknown is daunting, but sometimes it’s needed. And if this involves something to do with your growth, like a new job, going to therapy or moving countries, then they should be there to support you all the way. They should be excited to see you grow and evolve into the person you want to be, even if it means they have to put in a little bit of effort.

Massive green flag energy is them saying something like, ‘If it makes you happier, I’m in your corner,’ rather than them looking for excuses to keep coasting.

Remember: Growth = green!

8. You want the same big things

One of the reasons you’re in love with your other half is probably because you’re on the same page when it comes to so many things. It could be something small like your favourite movie or your number one takeaway choice on a Friday night. But in the grand scheme of things, the small stuff can be worked around.

The big stuff, however… maybe not. It’s not a huge deal right now if you can’t decide whether you should get a cat or a dog when you get your first place together, but one of the biggest green flags going is if you want the same big stuff. Things like having children, sharing values, your lifestyle and where you want to live. Because getting married isn’t necessarily about fitting someone into the life you want – it’s about creating a shared life together, which is so much easier if you both agree on the stuff that matters most.

9. They’re consistent and don’t make a habit of disappearing or giving mixed signals

One of the most reassuring things in a relationship is when your partner is consistent. They don’t go hot and cold. You don’t find yourself second-guessing what they’re thinking or what they might do next. They say what they’re going to do, and then they follow up and do exactly that. Not from an ‘Oops, I forgot to load the dishwasher’ point of view, but from an emotional point of view.

If the only games your other half plays are on the PlayStation, then that’s a great position to be in and is a solid foundation for a comfortable future together.

10. You solve problems as a team, not opponents

Life has an ugly habit of chucking challenges your way. You and your partner are in a great place if you tackle problems together, not apart. It’s almost like you don’t even need to talk to each other; it’s just a given that you’ll work as a team to overcome whatever comes your way.

A huge relationship green flag is when there’s no way either of you would blame the other, or deflect or isolate. You stop, collaborate and listen (sorry for the Vanilla Ice lyrics, there – they just felt appropriate).

Affection, fun and everyday magic green flags

11. You still laugh – a lot

Inside jokes. Silly voices. That ridiculous dance move they do in the kitchen when no one’s watching. The two of you can turn even the most ordinary moment, like folding the washing or waiting in a queue, into an opportunity to have fun.

Even when life throws stress your way (and let’s be honest, it will), you somehow find your way back to laughter. Maybe it’s the way they make up a song about paying bills, or how you both lose it over a shared memory of something hilariously embarrassing from your early dating days.

The magic here isn’t that everything in your relationship is perfect or plain-sailing. It’s that even when things are hard, you still know how to have a good giggle, which isn’t forced or awkward.

12. Affection comes naturally

From a quick kiss on the forehead before you head out the door, to a spontaneous hug while one of you is stirring pasta sauce, affection isn’t something you have to think about; it’s woven into your day-to-day life and is as natural as breathing.

It’s the way they absent‑mindedly rest their hand on your knee during movie night, or how you find yourself reaching for their hand in the middle of a crowded street without even noticing. It’s the cuddle on the couch that somehow turns into a two‑hour conversation, or the little tap on the shoulder just to get their attention.

These gestures aren’t grand or showy. They’re small, genuine ways you say I love you without words. They’re not a performance for Instagram or something you feel pressured to do; they’re instinctive, comforting and part of your natural rhythm as a couple. It’s that affection for each other that will get you through thick and thin together.

13. You genuinely enjoy doing ‘nothing’ together

There’s a special kind of magic in a relationship where you don’t need bells, whistles or an itinerary to have a good time. Maybe it’s a lazy Sunday where you both scroll on your phones in comfortable silence, legs tangled under a blanket.

The point is, you don’t feel pressure to perform for each other. You don’t need constant excitement or elaborate plans to feel connected. Time together, even the ordinary and mundane stuff, is easy. Natural.

It feels like home.

14. Your people see it too

One of the most telling signs that you’re in something truly special is when the people who know you best can see it without you even having to say a word. Your friends start making little comments like, ‘You seem so happy lately!’ Your family slips into conversation about how much they enjoy having your partner around. Even that one brutally honest friend who doesn’t hold back on opinions begrudgingly says something like, ‘I like them.’

It’s not just about your partner being polite at family dinners or charming your friends over brunch (though that’s a bonus). It’s deeper than that. The people closest to you can tell that you’re calmer, lighter, genuinely happier when they’re in your life. And if others can see it, then you must definitely feel it. And who wouldn’t want to go on feeling like that forever?

15. It just feels… right

Sometimes, you just can’t put it into words. It’s more than just a weird impulse or lust (though that can be fun too!). It’s the way you feel light on your feet. Safe. Like home isn’t quite the same when this other person isn’t by your side.

Honestly, the single biggest green flag is that it just feels right. Not just every now and then, but all the time.

Final thoughts: ready when you are

You might have read through this list and ticked off every single green flag and then some. And if you have, then maybe taking the next step and getting engaged is totally right for you! It means you’re not just in a good relationship, you’re in a great one – and it sounds like it’s built to last.

But if you haven’t ticked them all off, then you shouldn’t worry. You’re on an amazing path right now, which is only going to grow over time. They’re all the building blocks of love, which is something you can’t force. They’ll come naturally. And when it’s time, you’ll definitely know.

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Happy Planning!

Mike Jeavons

Last updated: 24th Jul 2025

15 Relationship Green Flags That Say You’re Headed Down the Aisle

Communication and trust green flags

1. You feel safe being 100% yourself with no filters needed

2. You can disagree without it becoming an argument